What Do You Think About Adoption?

What do you think about adoption?

Holy, noble, and undeniably terrifying words I uttered to my husband one early spring day in 2019. 

We had already undergone training as foster parents two years prior with the hopes to add to our family, but God seemed to be closing that door. Seemingly at a crossroads, my own tender heart in much turmoil at the passing of time and the lack of direction, I found myself engulfed in late nights of research, possibilities, hope.

It’s not that we hadn’t asked ourselves this question before –

we had –

but here it was again, now with a gravity and seriousness upholding those six simple words. 

I must have caught him off guard. I don’t recall much of an initial response, other than an unassuming:

Hmm, where are you going with this?

and a more honest:

Can we really afford to do this?

But that night, one question led to another, then another, then another as we exchanged thoughts, ideas, feelings, fears. 

Guard my tender heart in this monumental step, adoption isn’t easy.

Not for anyone.

Adoption is taking the story of broken parents breaking the heart of their offspring and offering that treasure of a broken child to adoptive parents. Adoption can be heroic, in some cases –

a pregnant mother, realizing she cannot adequately care for her baby, opting to protect and uphold that life, giving a sweet chance those who do long for a child, many of whom cannot have their own –

a simply radiant picture.

Still coming from brokenness, yet redemptive in its outcome and the hearts involved.

The other end of the spectrum would be the young one still reeling from the treacherous path of abuse or abandonment, tossed around between foster homes or imprisoned in the loneliness of the overcrowded orphanage. On the receiving end always are the hopeful parents, willing to put self on the line to rescue and heal the hurts –

many not realizing the all too real possibilities for themselves to be unprotected and hurt along this path. 

The evening I posed the Question was a prominent starting point, the first of many filled with consideration, probing the internet, friends and family, and steeped in MUCH prayer. I cannot say but that prayer was the key in all this.

Stepping into this new territory wasn’t something we were about to take lightly.

Nor did we want to pursue what WE wanted as much as what HE wanted.

There was a period where all the research had been done, the necessary people contacted, the finance plan tentatively drawn up and amended, the willing, yet cautious, hearts checked…

and we waited.

And prayed.

And waited.

And prayed more.

No magical door opened, nor did a sign drop down from the sky.
A prophetic dream or song or word didn’t come our way (though I often time wish things were clearly spelled out for me just as so).
$30,000 did not sovereignly appear in our bank accounts.
None of these occurred. 

Yet receiving the green light to move forward was, in one sense, simple.

Moving Forward…How we Knew

Our adoption YES came from :

💕 Leading of my husband – the biblical precedent that the husband respects his wife and cares for her and the family by leading them in God’s wisdom, to be rested upon especially in times of crucial decision-making. To my wily-nily heart – relief.

💕 Desire of hearts – two hearts aspiring to rescue a little one, CHECK ✔️

💕 Doors seeming to open – this will not always be the case with choosing the right road – sometimes there will be obstacles in the way that will need to be courageously undertaken and rightfully so. In our circumstances at those moments, as we prayed and shared with others, we received much encouragement to proceed forward as things began to line up for us.

💕 Peace that Passes Understanding – this one is so key. Logic, though often for our benefit, can rear a despicable head and spin us about as we maddeningly seek to decipher His will. We can be tossed to and fro, bobbling in the winds of confusing storm, until we learn His peace is a significant factor in His path for us. Peace calms the storm that our own understanding created. For our hearts, a tool we wielded was to ask, Would we be okay if we DIDN’T pursue adoption? There was no peace in that answer.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phillippians 4:7

Once we had those guiders in place, the very last portion became the God-honouring Steps of Faith. Being called, His hand leading and guiding, we approached the crossroads. Do we trust Him to provide future grace along the way? We take the path, the one we believe leads to the precious prize of treasuring Jesus as we receive the treasure of a new life from Him.

So What Brought Us to Adoption in the First Place?

We’ve always considered adoption to be a holy and noble pursuit, and yet it remained aloof – something for other parents who couldn’t have biological children. But then, after four of our own, something changed in our hearts. In retrospect, we see that the Lord was growing us as a son and daughter, as a father and mother.

All of a sudden, adoption wasn’t just for others anymore.

There was a deep desire in our hearts to reach out to children in need – the fatherless. 

James 1:27 tells us that true religion is caring for orphans. Having read that scripture hundreds of times before, there was suddenly new meaning and purpose in those words.

There was conviction.

We knew it was pointed at us and our desires matched where the Lord was leading. 

In our hearts, we would consider the one orphan that we might call son or daughter and feel our hearts break with compassion, sometimes bringing us to tears.

Godly tears.

While adoption remained largely cost prohibitive, as mentioned, we began doing foster care to help such children with the hope of a permanent addition to our family. God sovereignly chose not to fulfill that desire through foster care. 

Over a period of six months or more, God grew our faith, to believe that where He calls us, He will provide, specifically in adoption. 

So here we stand on the precipice of adopting an orphan, knowing full well that God’s plan cannot be thwarted by our limitations or weakness.

Zachariah 4:6 says, it’s “‘not by might nor power, but by my spirit,’ says the Lord.” And again, 2 Corinthians 2:9 days, “my power is made perfect in your weakness.”

In faith, we trust that God is calling us to adopt a little girl from China. 

She may or may not be born yet, but one thing is for certain, God has created a place for her in our home and in our hearts.

Please Note: God desires for orphans of all nations to be loved, cared for, and adopted into Christian families—ultimately so they can become saved and adopted into His eternal family through Jesus Christ. There are over 147 million orphans worldwide and 120,000 children currently in the U.S. foster care system. It is estimated that less than 10 percent of these children are adopted into evangelical Christian families. Adoption and foster care isn’t for everyone…but, if you felt a stirring in your heart when you read this, please prayerfully consider whether you’re called to bring a child into your home via adopting or fostering – if it’s your calling, the rewards will be great 💕